Once something bad has happened, it’s natural to feel sad, frustrated, and even angry. You tell yourself that maybe it’s just a bad day. You shrug it off and try to move on. Then it keeps happening, and you somehow get the hang of it. Or so you thought. Because whether you admit it or not, it does bother you. You are starting to get convinced that you are out of luck!
Traumas you thought you had overcome come back to haunt you when triggered. You are not okay at all. Life keeps pushing you back. You watch other people live their lives at their best and are convinced it’s just not the life for you.
But are you really out of luck? Are you convinced that’s how things are supposed to be? It can be very lonely when you choose to think that somehow you are destined for those unfavorable things that keep happening. That way of thinking may cause you to feel hopeless when those traumatic occurrences and stressors you feel are occurring for no reason or for a reason out of your control.
Taking Ownership and Responsibility
If you are stuck in the pit of despair, then it’s time to take a few steps back and evaluate things. While it’s true that some things are beyond your control, there are also a couple of things you can manage.
Often, it’s when we are resigned to thinking we have bad luck that our lives spiral out of control. You think negatively and expect the worst, and in turn, those bad things do happen, either by our own actions or inaction. You slumber in your self-pity or sometimes you pretend to be numb. You get stuck in a perpetual cycle of unhealthy behaviors or habits.
Take ownership. It may really just be your own doing, which is why bad things keep happening. It’s time to wake up and finally take the driver’s seat of your life. Claim that you deserve the finer things in life and work for them. Fight for it.
The first thing you must do is learn to handle your feelings and manage your emotions during difficult times. It’s easier said than done, but you must do it. Claim that this is the turning point of your life.
Evaluate what you have been doing that could have contributed to these unfortunate events. You may say, “I always get a defective item, my appliances or my car keep breaking down,” when in fact it’s your fault for always buying subpar merchandise. Or could it be that you are not handling your belongings well?
Or say, for instance, that you are always losing your job. Maybe it’s because you have to step up your game. Or there are mistakes you keep making that are completely avoidable. Perhaps you need more focus and more passion. Then maybe you need to find a job you love.
It might be hard to hear, but maybe a little tough love towards yourself is what you need to. Wake up and smell the coffee. Wake up your senses and see the unhealthy patterns. Making changes can be hard, but it will all be worth it. Have faith. The way you think will then reflect the way you talk and act. A few changes may just be what you need to finally stop bad things from happening.
Accepting things that cannot be changed
As mentioned, there are things you can work your way around or argue yourself out of. But then again, you must also accept that some things cannot be changed.
Things can become very difficult if you keep forcing your way through things that cannot be undone. For instance, always looking back at past mistakes or past relationships. You wish it never happened, or sometimes you wish for a different outcome.
The pain or fears can reflect on your present relationships. Your relationships can suffer, and you will keep getting hurt if you are unable to process and accept what was. If you keep the bitterness inside your heart, then bad things can keep happening.
Some individuals consistently receive the short end of the stick in real life just by being who they are.
These individuals continue to allow themselves to become overly bitter about the past and about every setback they have had. They just can’t let it go. And for that, they wouldn’t have much energy left over to take pleasure in life’s wonderful things.
The pattern of unhappiness continues. The way you emotionally get ready for life’s changes can make a big difference in how well you can handle challenges and how you can turn your life around for the better.
When things don’t go the way you expect them to, maybe it’s like a “Road Closure” which leads to a detour where something needs to be learned or uncovered. Or it may lead you to something even better. So move forward already. Say “good riddance” to things or people who hurt you.
Stay Strong and Take Care of Yourself
Whether we like it or not, sometimes good things happen to good people. And sometimes hard work does not pay off so easily. And even when you try so hard to be positive, things may still not go your way. That’s life. It can also be unpredictable.
What matters is to stay strong and learn to ride the waves of life. If you must mourn and grieve something bad that has happened, then do so. Take some time off to process what happened. Learn from the past and try to get yourself back together again.
Have the same compassion for yourself as you would extend to others, even more. When you’ve changed your ways and still things are not okay, keep on trying and keep on moving forward. Reward yourself for every small success.
It may still take time, but hold on. Things will get better eventually. Become a master of life’s greatest lessons by always being teachable. And once the Universe feels that you’ve learned everything you can, there will be a stop to the unhappiness, and something new will come along for us to learn.