You need first to comprehend what you are up against before you can figure out how to overcome it. Shame is a feeling of humiliation or embarrassment that derives from the perception of having done something dishonorable, immoral, or wrong. Shame can also be an embarrassment of something we feel is displeasing about ourselves.
When we break the social rules we regard dear, we feel ashamed. We feel exposed and little in such situations, and we are unable to look another person in the eyes. You may just want for the ground beneath your feet to swallow you whole. We’ve all experienced shame or humiliation at some point in our lives. Perhaps we were teased for mispronouncing a common word or for how we appeared in a bathing suit, or maybe a loved one caught us lying.
Shame might be a negative feeling, but its origins are essential to our species’ existence. We may not feel the need to follow cultural standards, obey laws, or behave in a way that permits us to exist as social beings if we are not able to feel shame. But shame, when left unchecked and left to take control over our lives, can diminish self-worth and our ability to handle happiness and be open to everything that life has to offer.
Recognizing Shame and Identifying Its Source
To let go of shame, identify instances when you felt ashamed. To give you an idea, there are common words we might be telling ourselves when we feel ashamed:
Examples of when you are ashamed:
When I speak in front of a group of colleagues, I am constantly embarrassed.
Everything about me is broken.
My gut feels like it’s dragging me down, and my throat is closing up.
When I feel stupid, and I’m stuck.
I feel embarrassed about the way I look
I am not earning enough, so I feel a sense of shame towards my in-laws, family, and friends.
Although times have changed and these things may no longer be entirely accurate or can be interchangeable between the sexes, there are common reasons why men and women feel shame. One primary source of humiliation for men is being viewed as weak. Physical strength, financial clout, and emotional stoicism are all examples of this. Men have a tendency to associate weakness with failure.
On the other hand, women’s shame is often focused on their beauty and the desire to be viewed as flawless. Furthermore, women are under pressure to be beautiful and ideal without putting up any effort.
These are the common sources of shame, but we have different experiences that may have contributed to our feelings of shamefulness as individuals. Perhaps you have a domineering husband who constantly picks on your weight or a boss who has called you stupid at some point. Find the source of your shame so you can face it head-on.
Recognize What Shame is Doing to You
Is shame causing you to hide, hold back and miss out on life’s adventures and opportunities? Shame can leave you paralyzed – losing the blessings and joy of personal growth. People who internalize shame are prone to anxiety and depression.
Embrace Your Flaws and Learn to Deal With Them
Accept the aspects of yourself that you can’t change – even things you consider are flaws. Certain studies have demonstrated acceptance to help people break free from a cycle of shame and move ahead. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. As you accept your flaws, learn how to deal with or improve them to the extent that you can.
If you feel ugly, know that beauty is subjective. You can be physically up to the standards of what the general public considers as beautiful, but without the confidence, that beauty simply just won’t shine through. When you love yourself, it will naturally show how you handle yourself, which will shine through.
Trying to be flawless in any aspect of your life is an impossible expectation for anyone, and it can lead to low self-esteem and even humiliation if you don’t meet it. The concept of perfection is a social construct created by the media and society, suggesting that we may be flawless if we look, act, and think a certain way, yet reality contradicts these expectations.
Learn To Be Your Own Buddy
I cannot tell you how important this part is. Develop a kind inner voice and learn to also see the good things in you. List down your strengths and be grateful for your items—practice self-compassion and gentleness. Make yourself your best buddy. Treat yourself like you would a friend or other loved one, rather than criticizing oneself and participating in negative self-talk.
Let Go of the Past, Life is Too Short Not to Let Go of the Bad Things
Many people become stuck – paralyzed by their feelings of shame. Endlessly worried and afraid, they become depressed and suffer from a low sense of self-worth. It is critical that you leave the past in the past. You can’t erase or reverse what happened in the past, but you can determine how it influences your present and future viewpoint.
If your shame is brought upon by other people or even by your own self beating, learn to come to terms with it. If somebody hurt you and left you feeling ashamed, grieve and forgive. And if you have to let go of that person, then let them go and choose to free yourself towards healing.
Remember That Healing From Shame is a Process
Healing from shame is not an overnight thing. It may take months and even years for some before healing is felt. Take things one step at a time. Learning to be kinder to oneself and be more positive is like learning a new language.
At first, you may feel lost and uncomfortable, constantly making mistakes and not understanding if you are saying or doing the right thing. The most important thing is to go on and to continue to choose to move forward.
Seek Support from Others, Even Professional Help
Sometimes self-help tips can only do so much for a person who feels anxious and stressed out because of shame. If you can trust someone, you can always unburden yourself and share your thoughts and feelings.
Seek help spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Help can be found. If you feel that you are already too overwhelmed, you can seek refuge through Intuitive Healing, wherein the negative emotions are released from their very roots. Intuitive Healing is a powerful technique for locating, releasing, and healing any bad emotions that have been held in your body. Some of these feelings could have been retained since you were as young as a baby.
Unresolved emotions cause physical and mental health problems by disrupting our energy flow, and healing the emotional foundation of any problem is critical for long-term healing success.
Learn more about Intuitive Energy Healing and feel free to book in-person or distant healing sessions with us at any time.