Maybe you’re the opposite of carefree. Maybe you’re always on the lookout for the things that you have to do, even if it’s not yours to do. Maybe you constantly worry about things going wrong if you relax and sit back a little.
You are worried about how others feel or how everyone you love is doing. You think they need you more than they actually do. At work, you find it hard to delegate. You even do other people’s jobs. Perhaps you do it better and you feel that you are doing it for the best for the company or business.
You are worried about what’s happening around you constantly. The state of poverty around you. You always worry. You worry about the wars going on, the recent typhoon, climate change, the gap between the rich and poor getting wider, and everything that’s going wrong in this world. You are carrying the world on your shoulders!
It’s good that you care. It’s good that you are willing to help. But being so empathetic and sympathetic may not always be the best thing. It can be exhausting and lead to burnout. What are the instances you just have to learn to let go? Do you need to keep carrying the weight on your shoulder or is it time to let go and pass it on?
Don’t Apologize for That Part of Yourself
First of all, don’t apologize for being the one who cares. That part of you is wonderful. It is the kind of person who cares and gives and loves, and makes our world a better place. Chances are you are loved by everyone around you as you have helped them one way or another.
Because you feel responsible, without a doubt you have done a lot. You are the one to rely on and trust for things to be done.
Just make sure you’re not falling into a trap where you measure your own self-worth according to how much weight you’re bearing for others.
Evaluate How You Are Doing
Okay, Mr. or Ms In Control. It’s good that you are having so much done. But once in a while take a step back and ask how you are. Aren’t you exhausted from doing all these things for others and the sake of the world?
Stop and rest if you must. Your first responsibility is to be a friend to yourself because at the end of the day no one will do it best but you. Create boundaries and respect them as a way to respect yourself.
Self-care is very important and don’t leave it out because you are too busy taking care of everybody else.
No matter what, take the time to:
- Get enough sleep
- Eat a good and nutritious meal
- Do something fun
- Exercise regularly
- Meditate
- Discover what you are passionate about
- Plan something to look forward to like a trip somewhere
If you do these things first then you do not have to feel guilty about that part of you who wishes to carry a bit more responsibility than you should.
Respecting Others Roles
Yes, you may do a lot of things better than other people but never take other people’s opportunity to grow by taking charge of their responsibilities.
Family Life
In a family, each individual is given roles to fulfill. If a family member falls short then support them in their responsibilities but don’t take over.
A child may feel responsible for being the adult in the family when a parent goes astray. Never take over their roles worrying perhaps over your younger siblings. Recognize your limitations and ask for help when you can.
Start with your parents. Tell them how you feel and remind them of their responsibility. Do it with love and respect. If the situation worsens, ask for help from other family members or even from the community. Look out for yourself first.
Work Life
We are all given roles and positions at our workplace. Those are given so that each individual has a clear understanding of what they should be working on. It’s good to be a team player but let others do their job. Don’t take charge because you feel like you can do it better.
Guide and inspire but never let others feel unworthy of their roles by taking over. If you don’t trust your boss that he or she will do the job then identify his or her weakness and help when you can. But never carry the burden of being the boss.
Don’t stress about it and just focus on doing your job. Protect yourself from unnecessary stress by being clear about your boundaries. Continue to be respectful and be careful about ratting them out. But file a complaint when a complaint is due but be sure to have enough evidence and be smart about it.
If you don’t feel confident about that then look for a new job. Sometimes it’s just not worth the stress. An incompetent or unmotivated boss can cause a ripple effect and your company may suffer. You don’t want to keep working at such a company.
Stop Worrying About Things You Can’t Control
One thing that could really hurt someone who carries the world on their shoulder is worrying about things they can’t control. It’s good if you are an active volunteer for charity events and climate change protests but at the end of the day, you just have to be at peace with the extent of the contribution you can make.
When you worry about the bad things that are happening all around, it really helps to know that bad things also bring a lot of good in people. You see people go out of their ways to help others in their time of need.
At some point, you need to stop worrying about things you can’t control. Sometimes or often you just have to leave it to the Universe, God or the Higher Being of your choice. Prayers and meditation do wonders to a troubled heart.
One Step At A Time
Instead of worrying about the past and the present, focus on the things you can do now. Live life one step at a time. Do what you can now and proceed to the next step.
Bear the burden of the moment before taking on the next. Whatever you want to accomplish can be achieved in this manner. Step by step – moment by moment. You can only act in the present but what you are doing now will take care of tomorrow.
If you are carrying the burden of the past then it’s time to forgive and let go. The past will no longer hold its power when you choose to do right with today. So sit and relax. The world and the people who love you would want you to unload that weight whenever possible and fill your cup too.
