Everyone goes through life with adversities and oppositions. But with some support system and self-determination, you will be able to ride the tide. The opposition can be another person or can be some unwanted circumstances but what if you are unknowingly being that opposition to your own self. What if you are the one who is damaging or even destroying your life? Then that is “self-sabotage.”
“Self-sabotage is a pattern of behavior, thoughts, and behaviors that might prevent you from going forward with happiness in life and successfully dealing with change.”
Some people prevent their own happiness and success in only one area, while others do it in multiple aspects of their lives. Romantic connections, jobs, education, and relationships with family and friends are all common areas where self-sabotage occurs. It’s time to end this vicious cycle.
Passive or Active Self-Sabotage (Unconscious or Conscious)
While it is true that some may be doing it unconsciously, it also can happen as a deliberate attempt of a person to hinder their own success and wellbeing. There are different levels of awareness of this behavior. Be it active or passive self-sabotage it affects a person spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and even physically.
For example, if you have problems with your health and continue to eat unhealthily despite knowing how it can worsen your condition then that is conscious or active self-sabotage. Staying in an abusive relationship with the belief that you are in it for love is another example that you are self-sabotaging without knowing it.
Examples of Self-Sabotage
Habitually stalling to do or finish something and engaging in distractions as means to momentarily avoid stress, anxiety, or otherwise uncomfortable situations, is one classic example of self-defeating behavior. Many opportunities or chances can easily pass you by being a procrastinator.
Being a perfectionist can easily lead you to self-sabotage. When you want everything to be completely perfect, you end up being easily frustrated so you hold back and avoid risks. Risks that are more often than not necessary to be successful. They set impossibly high standards, which can spell disaster in relationships, careers, and many other aspects of life.
You tend to think about things to death. You worry and you blow up every little issue in your life. This habit saps your confidence and instills persistent self-doubt, causing you to focus too much on the negative.
Self-sabotage occurs when we listen to harsh self-criticism because it hinders us from feeling that we have what it takes to attain our goals.
Poor diet, lack of rest, sleep and recreation, and not exercising can prevent you from thriving. Substance abuse like alcoholism and drug addiction, comfort eating, promiscuity, and gambling can lead you not only to harm yourself physically but can also hurt you in all aspects of your life.
These are only a few examples among the potentially very long list of self-sabotaging behaviors and thoughts.
Why People “Self-Sabotage”
While it may be easy to judge a person who self-sabotage, the reasons why a person does it are all too familiar. That could be the very reason as well why anyone could be self-sabotaging without knowing it. Truth be told, we all do it from time to time. The most important thing however is to be aware of it and understanding the behavior means understanding why it happens. Here are the common reasons why people self-sabotage.
Difficult Experiences Growing Up
Unfortunately, the behavior could have deep roots going further back into one’s childhood or formative years. Growing up in a less-than-ideal family situation can be a contributing factor. The security that our relationship with our earliest caregivers can greatly affect how we view and handle ourselves and our relationships with others.
For example, growing up with overachiever parents can also cause you to develop perfectionist tendencies that can knowingly or unknowingly cause you to continuously become unsatisfied with the imperfections that will ever be present in this world.
Another example is if we grow up being heavily criticized by parents or siblings. Individuals who grow up under such conditions can develop the need to also continually self-criticize.
Bad Life Experiences
Some bounce back after bad life experiences but others are not able to cope better. Bad relationships, grave disappointments, broken relationships, loss of a loved one, and other tragic life events can leave an imprint on a person in a way that they can lose their self-esteem, their drive and enthusiasm for life, and the many aspects of it.
People with low self-esteem and a negative self-image are more susceptible to self-sabotage. They act in ways that confirm their unfavorable self-perceptions. As a result, if they are on the verge of succeeding, they get uneasy. They have gotten way too comfortable being in the shadows. They either feel uneasy being in the middle of attention or feel unworthy of any success or attention.
How to Find Healing Against Self-Sabotage
There are many ways we sabotage ourselves from day to day, and it is more common than you think. What is important is that we continually spend time reflecting on the errors of our ways and strive to do better in managing our tendencies to overthink, self-criticize or whatever it is that stops us from not only living but thriving.
The importance of setting goals, being mindful of our every action towards achieving goals while being a friend, and being forgiving of one’s self can also help keep you on track. But if you find yourself stuck or endlessly feeling unfulfilled, afraid to take risks, scared of challenges – the mountain of self-defeat insurmountable then you shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help.
Individuals who self-sabotage can have difficulty controlling their emotions and actions. Childhood trauma or neglect are common causes of behavioral and emotional dysregulation. This imbalance can lead to devastating consequences and must be dealt with professionally.
How A Type of Reiki Energy Healing I Call Intuitive Healing Support Those Who Self-Sabotage
Either if you are attempting self-help or going to other sources of assistance i.e. psychologist or counselor, you can always benefit from Intuitive Energy Healing. Intuitive Energy Healing is an advanced form of Reiki, a popular, safe form of energy healing that is safe for anyone in any condition and for all ages. It’s complimentary with all other forms of treatments yet effective on its own too.
Intuitive Healing is a specialized Reiki energy healing treatment that starts with a diagnostic consultation commonly by using an energetic body scan. It is followed by applying the appropriate energy healing techniques that your own energy resonates most with.
Through Intuitive Healing, we first clear out negative energy layers and energy blockages from a person’s energy field out first. Once that is clear, we can begin to address emotional wounds that may have been repressed or suppressed. Additionally, we energetically explore deep emotions and thought patterns rooted in the person that create self-sabotage thoughts in their subconscious, feelings that lead to action. We’re also able to promote positive thought patterns in your subconscious as we release and heal the negative energies causing unhealthy thought patterns and behaviors, truly inviting a real shift in mindset.
Intuitive Healing can be used to uncover any limiting thoughts that are keeping us from realizing our full potential and alter them to support our goals. It will assist you in identifying and removing any blocks that are causing you to self-sabotage. Intuitive Healing is a technique for restoring balance to the mind, body, and spirit. The energy in your body will be adjusted by applying gentle touch, resulting in healing. On the receiving end, the experience of an Intuitive Healing session is no different from Reiki if you’re familiar with Reiki sessions.
There is hope for breaking the cycle, no matter how long you’ve been battling with self-sabotage. The way can be cleared and the journey to achieving your goals begins by building self-awareness, acceptance, and self-love which are reinforced by the benefits of Intuitive Healing sessions.