Common Types of Insecurities We Feel and How to Navigate Around Them
“I cannot do it. I am not good enough. It will never go my way.” These are just a few negative self-talk brought about by insecurity. Insecurity is that feeling of inadequacy or uncertainty that makes you anxious to face others, meet your goals, and your ability to deal with things.
You could be insecure about anything – like your relationships, your capabilities, or even how you look. Insecurity can get the best out of anyone. It excuses no one. That negative self-talk renders you defeated even before anything has been started. It can cripple you at the most inopportune times.
Your self-doubt takes charge just when you need to feel secure and confident. Like before a date, a major presentation, an interview, or even at times when you need to speak up and be heard.
It’s perfectly normal to feel a little insecure at times. As humans, we can second guess ourselves but hopefully only for a moment. Too much and lasting insecurity can lead to issues not only in your everyday life but also in your relationships. But have faith that you can work through your insecurities and live life as you should.
Understanding your insecurity
Insecurity with physical appearance.
One of the most common sources of insecurity is physical appearance. A lot of individuals struggle with how they feel about their own skin.
The insecurity may come from different factors such as comments or standards set by family, friends, media, and society. Although it does not really have a definite cause. People of all body types can experience this type of insecurity. Some even resort to endless cosmetic surgeries.
Acceptance and learning to be comfortable with your own body, self-care, and being active can help with anxiety. But sometimes issues with body image leading to low self-esteem are problems that become too much to handle alone. You can talk to someone your trust, perhaps a parent, or ask for professional help and it can get better.
Insecurity with your academic or career performance.
We live in a highly competitive world and when we struggle to perform academically or in our careers we feel insecure. Poor academic or job performance can understandably lead to feelings of insecurity. But you must be aware that sometimes insecurity can take over before poor performance.
A student who feels intimidated or insecure about his or her math subject may not be able to study as well believing he or she will not understand it.
Insecurity with your relationships.
The inability to trust others, even our own parents, siblings, even spouse, and other family members are one type of insecurity that can lead to much unhappiness. You feel you are not good enough for your partner or undeserving of love.
Relationship insecurity can result from feelings of abandonment and neglect. It can be a result of childhood or relationship trauma. Emotional healing can provide you the help you go forward and let go of the past. But there are times when we feel insecure only because we are preoccupied with what is lacking in the relationship instead of what our partner or our family is providing wholeheartedly to us.
You develop anxious attachment styles that can be observed as overly emotional dependence on someone else. You fear being alone, and can only be satisfied with your fantasy of a perfect relationship that can never be achieved.
Insecurity with how our peers or other people in general think of us can lead not only to anxiety but social isolation as well. You may develop avoidant attachment styles where you tend to keep relationships superficial and quick to disengage from more intimate relationships with others.
Where Your Insecurity is Coming From
Understanding the source of your insecurity is one effective way to navigate around it. It can be a step towards healing.
Past Failures and Rejections
As humans, it cannot be avoided for us to feel down when we face failure and rejection. Most especially if we face recurrent failures. Instability is something that cannot be avoided in life and unpredictable setbacks can make us feel uneasy and fearful to take chances in the future.
Our sense of security is also greatly affected by our environment. Our family, friends we choose to surround ourselves with, and even what’s happening around us. If we are constantly barraged by criticism then our self-esteem could greatly suffer.
Some still suffer even long after removing themselves from such an environment. But at least that’s one step towards healing.
Some people have unnaturally set themselves to incredibly high standards. It only follows that they are set to feel continually anxious about not living up to those expectations. You are forever concerned even with the tiniest details of how you look, how you speak, and how you are able to do things.
You always feel inadequate thus you feel insecure that perhaps you are not as good as you think you are. Insecurity can also arise when we constantly compare ourselves to others. We are quick to see their happiness and perfection and slow to recognize our own achievements.
Some insecurities come without a definite external cause. It can simply come as a personality or something to do with your brain chemistry.
Rise Above Your Insecurities
Recognizing your insecurities exist and understanding where they are coming from are the first steps towards overcoming them. Recognize the inner voice that’s telling you things that get you down and confront them. Are your thoughts legitimate or only perceived by your insecure self? Practicing self-awareness so that you can notice where these thoughts stem from can help massively.
Healing can begin with a few small but consistent steps you will choose to take from this day forward. Work on yourself the best way you can and erase any trace of doubt and self-pity. But also learn to accept and embrace the things that cannot be changed wholeheartedly and be grateful for the things you do have.
Another gentle, yet very powerful way to heal insecurities would be through Reiki sessions. Through Reiki sessions, you can give yourself an opportunity to connect with yourself on a deeper level, with your mind, body, and emotions, and heal the root of what creates or drives the insecurities. It also gives you a chance to talk to someone in a safe space while receiving Reiki healing from a qualified, trusted Reiki practitioner.
Or of course, turn to people who you can trust and who will be able to help you and return the favor any chance you get. Always remember that when things get too overwhelming help is always available.