Congratulations on your engagement! There’s probably a lot on your plate, lots of things to plan, and people to share your good news with. It can feel pretty overwhelming, even when you’re celebrating a new chapter of your life.
Many people have dreamed about their weddings since they were younger. You may have been to grand weddings where everything seemed perfect.
From the moment a bride enters, she instantly fills the room with oohs and aahs. Her step is flawless, her look divine – she is every bit the epitome of grace and peace. Her special march towards the love of her life can make everyone sigh and feel like everything works out perfectly.
Until you hear about what was behind the scenes.
Over the years, the “bridezilla”, a term coined for brides who are always on the edge, stressed, irate, and unable to relax. This concept of a “bridezilla” has become widely accepted and even expected. It somehow happens, something agitates or stresses the bride-to-be and the days leading to the dreamy event get besmirched by a misunderstanding or stress over preparation issues.
But does it really need to be like that? Of course not. I personally made it a point to be as mindful as I could be leading up to my wedding and this is coming from someone who was pretty controlling about every little detail. It wasn’t always easy, because I knew in the back of my head something was bound to go wrong, so all I could do was hope that I could react as mindfully as possible.
I had attended enough weddings to know that I personally didn’t want a big one, but that I knew I wanted a destination wedding. At the time, we weren’t bothered to do a recce of the destination we had in mind. I randomly googled around and found a place in Thailand that seemed pretty lovely from the photos and with good reviews online. We took a leap of faith, went with it. All was well until a month before our wedding, the King of Thailand had passed away, and the country was in mourning, therefore celebrations or festivities were not allowed from then on for the year ahead. Even I expected something to go wrong, this was a bigger issue than I was mentally prepared for as we had friends flying in from afar for it. Luckily we heard we were able to host the small, simple wedding we had in mind so all was well again. Or at least I thought that would be it, but then a week before our wedding, the worst rainstorms hit Thailand every single day leading up to the day the guests were to arrive.
Every day leading up to the big day, I noticed how something wouldn’t work out because of the rainstorms. The flowers couldn’t be delivered because they were destroyed by the rainstorms and they couldn’t get hold of any further stock. Sure, fine, no worries. They couldn’t get some of the food and beverages delivered in time because cargo planes were delayed, again because of the rainstorms. That was fine too. We couldn’t have the bonfire on the beach out of respect to the country’s mourning or light up paper lanterns, again, all good. We had a dry wedding so when they told us they couldn’t get their supply of coconuts we were a little bummed but no big deal.
The only thing I had wanted was that it wouldn’t rain during our ceremony and that the sun would be out. I didn’t really mind if we didn’t have the flowers, food, drinks, etc that we had planned. Being together with our guests and having a good time with decent weather was all that mattered to us. So what did I do? I turned to Reiki. Yup, Reiki doesn’t apply to humans or pets only, it applies to events and situations too. So I Reiki-ed my wedding day every day for two weeks straight and let me tell you what happened.
It was raining cats and dogs on and off up until an hour before our wedding ceremony. And when it was time to walk down the aisle not only did the sun come up but right when our friend started officiating the wedding, a big rainbow showed up! Crazy right? I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome!
Mindfulness For Brides: A Few Ways Brides Appreciate the Moments Leading To The Wedding
In my journey as a Reiki Master Teacher, mindfulness for brides has become a popular session booked by ladies who have an upcoming wedding. Their sentiments have something in common, they feel awful because all the stress from wedding preparations is taking the joy that’s supposed to be enjoyed on the wedding day.
When I ask bride-to-be’s “What worries you the most?” I almost always hear, “What everything goes wrong?”
Having been a bride too and I know how easy it is to feel overwhelmed by every single detail, from your dress to your shoes, to the entourage, to the locations! And even though our groom has a fair share of the stress too, it is always usually the bride who does more of the planning who feels double the pressure because we want everything to go as beautifully as possible.
But just like what working for perfection does to everything else, when we focus on keeping every detail spick-and-span, we might miss the things that can truly make our hearts swell.
How to Be Mindful: Tips for Brides
Is the freshness of the flowers on your aisle more important than your bridesmaid who lends you her time for free to ensure you get all the help that you need? Do the doves, the trinkets, and cakes weigh more than the memories you’re going to make in the days leading to your wedding?
I’m sure you’d answer no.
But it’s inevitable that important people and other things that matter most can be put on the backburner during the preparation process. And who can blame a bride who wants the wedding they’ve always dreamed of?
Here’s one beautiful truth, you can be a hands-on bride without losing your cool. Let me share a few mindfulness tips for brides that I personally followed and still recommend to ladies looking forward to their big day.
1. Understand that Some Things Are Beyond Your Control
I hate to say it already but it’s true. Shit happens. Suppliers may miss a detail or two. Guests who forgot to RSVP suddenly show up with a plus one. Someone on your bridal team may forget some essentials that make things extra challenging.
Just thinking about the “what-could-go-wrong” scenarios can be stressful.
So, my dear bride-to-be, it’s important to consider the things in the realm of your control from the very beginning of your preparations.
Create a list. A well-defined, non-negotiable list of tasks that will bring you peace of mind once you have crossed them as done. Doing this trick isn’t about settling for the bare minimum, you are actually assuring yourself that even if other things go wrong, as long as you have done the things that you have all the power to do, you’re good. Nothing can faze or disappoint you anymore.
2. Be Mindful of the Things and People that Matter Most
Your wedding day is also a day of celebration for friends and family who love you. On some unfortunate occasions, disagreements between the bride and her friends or relatives happen, sometimes it can be a truly disheartening result of the pre-wedding stresses. And don’t forget about the groom too. Conscious practices with your life partner especially during wedding preparations can contribute to a growing, healthy lifelong relationship.
You’re the bride, you’re going to have those moments when stress gets the best of you. But stress shouldn’t be the cause of a fallout. Take a moment to appreciate the people working behind the scenes.
Be grateful for the friends, family, vendors, venue staff, wedding guests who are all taking part in your wedding to celebrate your special day. They are the biggest supporters of your big day and if you’re in good spirits, they will enjoy the process with you just as much. If something goes wrong, they will be even keener to help you through it. Yes, you can be demanding (within reason) but it wouldn’t hurt to be nice and understanding about it too. Keep in mind, everyone has things going on in their lives personally and professionally so the more mindful of time and energy you are, the easier it will be for everyone too. It might save you some money along the way too.
It’s easy to overlook these amazing friends, family members, vendors, and all staff involved, taking an extra step to be mindful of them won’t leave you with soured relationships after you said your “I Do.” Be mindful and take care of them too!
And most importantly, be mindful of what you really want your wedding to be like. Sure you may have had the details from the wedding you dreamed of when you were a little girl, but do they still pertain to you now? It’s okay to let some of those details go if they don’t resonate with you anymore. And forget society’s standards of weddings and what “should be” done if they don’t feel right to you. If you don’t want to wear heels at your wedding, then don’t, it’s all good. You can take references of what standard weddings are like, but don’t forget to make it your own! There are no rules and it’s your choice to abide by traditions.
3. Keep a Gratitude Journal Specifically for the Wedding Preparations
When you feel an outburst is going to trigger you into a bridezilla, grab a gratitude journal where you can pour your entire heart and soul.
I get it, as a bride, you’ve also tried to become as mellow as possible when the going gets tough. But sometimes you need an outlet of emotions, or else you’re going to burst.
My favorite mindfulness exercise for brides is to journal everything, from the good to and bad. Throwing in a little bit of gratitude does not hurt, too. I’ve heard ladies raving about gratitude journals for brides and how they helped them with preparations.
Because making an effort of specifically naming everything that is going right can make you feel that not everything is going haywire! When you write down your feelings, rationally work around them, and opt for gratitude, it’s easy for you to see what is going so well over those that you feel are going so wrong.
4. Remind Yourself that at the End of the Day, It’s About Celebrating You and Your Partner’s Happiness!
Now for a dose of healthy reality. Our love for fairy tale endings can sometimes stop us from realizing what really is in the heart of every wedding, all in all, it will celebrate you and your partner’s beautiful love story.
It’s not about the guests and how they will react to your cake.
Or how your bridal march turns out.
Or if your bridesmaids got the right dresses.
In the entire scheme of things, friends and family gather for you because they want to celebrate your happiness, not your cake, your shoes, your hair, or the color palette you’ve chosen.
If you need a little reminder when the pressure starts to poke your head out, remember what really is in the heart of your wedding.
5. Consider Meditation for Brides, a Spa For Your Mind
I get you, my dear brides; with a lot on your plate, it’s hard to be mindful. If you’re all about every detail, it’s an extra challenge telling your brain to rest.
But meditation exercises for brides have helped several brides tremendously. One of my clients even told me that if there was one thing she was grateful for, it was for little moments when she can indulge in meditation.
My client, who was then a bride-to-be – said “It’s so difficult to be grounded when you’re handling so many things at the same time. The endless lists can throw you off your mojo and you just panic, panic, panic. Meditation helps me get my control back. It allows me to tell myself “All is well. Everything will be fine.”
I tell you, meditation throughout the wedding process and on my wedding day made the big day even more special and beautiful. It helps you become so much more present, handle the stress of the day so much better and you could feel so much for grateful for every little thing, even if things didn’t go according to plan.
6. Destress, Relax, and Connect With Yourself Deeper With A Reiki Session For Brides-to-Be
Don’t allow the stress of preparations to knock your energy sideways, especially on your wedding day.
A week or days leading up to the wedding, consider getting a Reiki session for brides. They make great engagement and wedding gifts too. A Reiki session before your wedding can thaw away any resentful, exhausted, stressed energy to pave the way for a happier, more energized presence. With the help of Reiki therapy, releasing all the energy blocks from your body, you can welcome your wedding day relaxed, unfazed, and ready to laugh at the successes, and the little mishaps.
Personally, for me, daily Reiki sessions helped me massively those weeks after hearing how the King of Thailand passed away and all the rainstorms that led up to my big day. Reiki is something anyone can learn for self-healing, so you can apply it to yourself or to your groom too. And Reiki sessions can be experienced in person or remotely so you could even have a Distant Reiki session wherever you are.
A wedding is a superbly special event, making sure you’re bringing the right type of energy to the ceremony is actually one of the ingredients to a beautiful, dream wedding.
Brides, you’ve got this. You don’t have to fall into that bridezilla route. You can win against the disaster that comes with pre-wedding stress. Be mindful, be grateful, let go of aiming for perfection all the time. Clear your energy, too! You, your groom, your families, and your friends can enjoy your wonderful wedding preparations and your special day a whole lot more!
I hope that everything I’ve shared here can ultimately help you smile from your heart. In my opinion, a smile from an open heart is the most beautiful natural glow any person could radiate.