I wish I could say once you’ve achieved your biggest goals and life aspirations, you’re going to be spared from the burden of fearful, negative thoughts.
I wish I could. But over the years, I’ve realized that the bigger one becomes, the more they come with giant fears and the harder they get to conquer.
Fear is always going to be there – whether we’re the CEO, the successful doctor, or someone starting out in a new venture. Although fear can also be good (I’ll talk more about this later) it can be like an invisible chain binding us to the exhausting tug of war between enjoying life, and just settling for it.
Two Kinds of Fear
At some point in our lives, we’ve been taught that fear is always bad. But fear has its good points, too. Fear can stop us from going for something that could harm us, or spare us from pursuing something that could get us deep in the mud.
When used correctly, fear can help our intuition. Fear can save us from going into dark, dangerous alleys, and complicated situations. It’s the fear of disease that can encourage us to eat healthy and mindfully. The fear of dying can push us to spend time on things and people that matter most. Even one of the most universal fears, the fear of failing can be a motivation to push, work, and try harder.
But then, fear can also be an enemy of intuition, and there will be repercussions when you let the fear drive intuition.
When fear takes the driver’s seat, it can convince our inner voice that aspiring for more means getting out of the comfort zone, and you won’t like it, and that might stop us from our own personal or professional growth.
Entertaining an unhealthy amount of fear can cripple us. An excessive amount of fear around diseases can actually make us ill. A big fear of death can take our privilege of enjoying the beautiful moments of today. The fear of failure can stop us from going for the life we really want, because we feel like the risks are just too great.
When we magnify our focus on the negatives, fear can easily overpower us. Fortunately, we can have power over fear too.
Overcoming Fear and Negative Thoughts: 5 Simple Tips
1/5 Make Fear Your Friend
Right off the bat, this tip sure sounds counterintuitive. If the best way to overcome fear is to never give it a space in our life, why should we make fear our friend?
Completely telling ourselves we have nothing to fear is like telling ourselves there are zero risks, which is not true. Most of us spend our days trying to completely eliminate fear only to succumb to it in the long run. Because we want fear to become unreal, we get knocked sideways when it makes us feel its reality.
Face fear head-on. When we acknowledge that the things we fear are real, our brain tends to shift from the scared mode to action mode.
When we accept that failure will be there, our focus and determination are heightened.
When we accept that death is inevitable, our brain jumps into making and sticking commitments to live better, healthier, and be free from wasting more time worrying about it.
When we accept that we could lose the things we are enjoying now, we can learn to take the extra steps to appreciate the things we have currently.
2/5 Let Go of What You Can’t Control
Here’s the truth, most of the time, the things we fear the most are out of our control, and they can be overwhelming.
We can control what we eat, and how we live our lives. The kind of illness that could come to us is something we can’t control.
We have full control of how we plan and execute these plans. But we can’t always control the results.
Making peace with not being able to have control of everything can bring us peace. It can calm the chaos and the dark fear in our minds. It can shift our focus from the scary things we can’t control to the clear steps we can take. When we accept that there are things that are out of our control, letting go of unrealistic fears can come easily.
3/5 Go to the Root of Fear
Our fears can have deep roots. When we fear something, it can’t always be taken at face value.
Beneath the fear of failure is the fear of being ridiculed, laughed at, and going broke.
Beneath the fear of losing loved ones is the fear of emptiness, of losing people who love you.
One’s fear of change can root from experiencing disappointments and pain because of change.
When you fear something, go to the root of the fear. What are you truly fearful of?
Understanding our fear in its purest form can help our minds identify what we need to do to make peace with that fear.
4/5 Be More Mindful
As cliche as it may sound, not all fears are real, and there’s danger in dwelling and fretting over fears that have no real basis.
If you’re constantly fearful about losing your job, or a relationship you love the most, you can become anxious and paranoid. When anxiety overpowers us, we become focused on the fear rather than healthy action plans and solutions.
When you see yourself getting overwhelmed by fear, take the time to be mindful. Write down the worst-case scenarios. Take the time to really ask if your fear has a basis. Think of clear action steps that can help you navigate through that fear.
5/5 Reason Out with Fear
Lastly, try to reason out with fear. Yes, you can talk to your fear!
Actually saying our fears out loud can pacify our emotions and can stop our brains from thinking the worst all the time.
Some people swear by making their fear sound real.
If their brain starts to tell them they’re going to lose anyway, they say – out loud – “Okay, sure. I’m going to lose. And because I think I’m going to lose, I’m going to do this and that to make sure I won’t have to…”
Speaking of our fears out loud can be therapeutic — it’s as if the brain turns from being crippled by fear, to a tool that thinks of solutions!
So if you feel like fear is taking over you, don’t just shrug it away. Reason out with it!
Fear is a powerful emotion. When used right, it can be empowering. When we let it drive us, it can leave us derailed. The good news is that we always ALWAYS have the power over fear. With the five steps above, we can slowly, but surely, make peace with our fears and have fewer negative thoughts.
And if these five steps don’t feel enough, perhaps try out an Intuitive Energy Healing session for some extra support.