While it’s completely normal to experience grief after a significant loss such as a death or trauma, not all of us feel it immediately after the fact. Grief can present itself in many different ways, even surprising us months or years later. There’s no need to worry, though, as this is more common than you think. If you’re looking for more information as to what delayed grief is, and how you can pull yourself out of it with the help of Reiki, we have you covered.
What is Delayed Grief?
Delayed grief is – put simply – a response to a loss often experienced months or years afterward. This loss could be the death of a loved one, a miscarriage, losing a job, or other serious changes in our lives.
While delayed grief could happen to anyone in any situation, it usually occurs with those who didn’t get to fully sit with these feelings at the time of the event. Perhaps they had a lot of stress on their plate and couldn’t fathom this grief on top of that. Most times, pushing those feelings away isn’t even a conscious decision we make. We may act “normal” but inside we’re anything but.
I’m a “do-er” myself. Having grown up a few times where I’ve had to deal with emergencies on my own such as a massive fire on the canyon my family and I lived in only my parents were away traveling, several big earthquakes, a home invasion, it was second nature to me while in the public relations industry in my 20’s to put our fires, reign in any logistical mishaps to running point on.
This kind of situation leads to us putting off our grief for later when it could be triggered by another loss or even something that would generally be insignificant. At this time, it’s almost like we’re “welcoming” it and are likely in a better place to now deal with it head-on.
Prolonged Grief Disorder Symptoms
If you’re looking for a single symptom of delayed grief, you may have a hard time finding it. Due to delayed grief’s relatively complex collection of reactions, it can be presented in different ways. Symptoms can include but are not limited to:
- Recurring thought circles/memories of the loss
- Insomnia
- Intense feelings of sadness/depression
- Anger
- Shortened temper
- Low energy levels
- Trouble concentrating
- Frequent dreams/nightmares about the person you lost
- Fatigue
- Anxiety
- Mood swings
- Changes in appetite
- Apathetic feelings
- Numbness
- Headaches
- Brain fog
Why Do We Keep Delaying the Grief?
Who likes feeling pain? Most people are scared of grieving, even if it could eventually make us feel better. Delaying our grief often happens when we just can’t “allow” ourselves to experience grief at the time of the loss. When we finally experience the grief, it’s at this point that we have a bit more space or stillness to be able to confront these delayed feelings.
Whether you’re aware of it or not, you may be holding back your true feelings and just making yourself push through it. Oftentimes, this is due to social or professional obligations. Perhaps it’s because you’re trying to hold everyone together if there are loved ones experiencing this loss, as well.
Is There Anything Wrong If We Keep Delaying Grief?
While there’s no timeline or deadline where you have to “be better”, allowing yourself this time and freedom to feel these emotions is the best way to deal with loss. If you can try to postpone significant life changes such as having another child, changing careers, moving, etc. that will help give you that space.
Your body is still experiencing that loss, so it hasn’t gone away in your body or mind. However, it is okay to delay grief for a time while you manage other, more pressing matters. There’s no need to judge yourself either way. Loss is oftentimes traumatizing to a person. It can be experienced in innumerable ways, and no two people process it the same way.
Help Yourself Get Out Of It With Reiki Healing
Considering that Reiki is an ancient technique for stress reduction and healing, it’s perfect for dealing with any kind of trauma or loss. When it comes to delayed grief, you could feel blocked or stuck. As Reiki aims to improve energy flow and remove blocks, you can probably see why it’s often used to bring people out of a state of grief.
Through a tried-and-true form of healing such as Reiki, you’ll be able to experience relief on a holistic level. There are many restorative methods to help with grief, but most heal in just one aspect.
For example, exercising or massages can help relax the body and let out stress. Talking to a therapist can help ease our minds. Maybe you don’t feel like going to the gym, or ready to talk to someone but you still want to find help.
Reiki can help provide relief to our bodies, minds, and souls. There’s no need to talk, but you still receive that positive energy to realign your emotions and let the weight you’re carrying disappear.
If You Need Help…
While some people prefer keeping to themselves, it’s also completely normal to need to seek help. Even if you’re normally the type of person who keeps their emotions inside, there’s nothing wrong with reaching out for help.
Having someone to speak with is a wonderful resource, and can offer just the support you need to get on the path towards healing in a safe and relaxed environment. Just looking for support in the first place is accepting your grief, which is a big step.
Isolating yourself can make moving through grief more difficult, and leaning on people around you can be a big help. You don’t even have to talk about your grief or loss in particular – sometimes just being around others can make a big difference.
Sometimes speaking about it with people we don’t know can be easier, however. Support groups and therapists can also be helpful in working through intense emotions.
