Forgiveness isn’t an easy topic for most of us, but based on numerology, July is a prime time to work on letting go of blame, shame, and all the emotions buried deep beneath our exterior.
Carrying a grudge can affect us in so many ways. Being offended and hurt by the people we care about can affect us and our well-being. It may be a friend we are in a fight with or a family member that has hurt us in the past.
It may even be something we did that we’re not so proud of, and we can’t seem to forgive ourselves. When we go through these hardships in our lives, we often receive the same piece of advice: time heals all wounds.
But with forgiveness and moving on, should we just let time do the healing or can we work with time and proactively take some preliminary steps to let go of some baggage?
What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is the ability to consciously let go of all feelings of anger, resentment, or other negative feelings and thoughts toward the person who has wronged you. This process will not be an easy journey. Each step will vary for each person.
There will be good days, the ones that make you feel like you are on top of the world. There will be bad days, moments where you think about the pain, or you see something that triggers your memory of it.
However, making it to the end is worth all the effort. The memory might always be present, but forgiveness lessens the grip that it has on you, creating a sense of freedom within yourself as you let go.
Though being the bigger person requires more effort, it doesn’t mean that we’re pretending it never happened or that we’re finding excuses for it.
Contrary to what other people perceive, forgiveness is more about healing yourself than another. Forgiveness is a way to let go of a grudge, the hurt, and the bitterness.
Finally, accepting the mistakes and forgiving (even if the other party didn’t ask for pardon) can start the healing of unseen wounds. It creates a huge sense of freedom that feels expansive.
Holding onto grudges and heartaches is like carrying a bag loaded with heavy rocks on your way up a mountain; it’s exhausting and painful.
But where do you start?
7 Ways to Forgive and Move On
#1 Acknowledge the Hurt
Finally letting go of your heartaches isn’t equivalent to completely ignoring what you’re feeling. Your hurt feelings are valid, and unless you admit that you’re hurt, it’s hard for healing to come. When we clearly identify what’s wrong, we can take the proper steps toward forgiveness.
#2 Remind Yourself You’re Doing This For You
The journey to forgiveness is not easy; often, it’s a road filled with resentment. If we keep on thinking that the one who has hurt us should apologize, we might be disappointed.
When it comes to forgiveness, there’s always a shift, a realization that you are unloading the burden of grudges off your heart, away from your soul. Forgiveness is about you.
#3 Have A Physical List Of Your Whys
I think making lists can actually help us have clarity. Whenever we make plans, we become more effective if we have a list.
The same goes for forgiveness; creating a list of your “big whys” can give you the determination to move forward no matter how hard it is.
#4 Reconcile With Yourself
Bad choices that lead to bad effects can make us impatient with ourselves. We often blame ourselves for being so rash, impulsive, and unwise. One of the best steps to take in the journey to forgiveness is forgiving ourselves.
We make mistakes, we make unwise choices, we even come up with the worst ideas. As you make peace with your painful experiences, it also pays to make peace with yourself.
#5 Switch Blame to Understanding
The urge to play the blame game can be strong, but it can be debilitating. Blaming creates an endless cycle of resentment, anger, and holding on to grudges.
Understanding what we went through can help us gain greater peace.
#6 Find Support
Sometimes all we want is for someone to listen to us. More often than not, having a support system encourages us that it’s okay to make a mature, conscious decision to forgive.
#7 Choose Kindness Over Being Right
Got into a petty fight with your partner? Heard a snide remark from a family member? If you feel like it’s inconsequential, it’s best to just let it go and move on. It will be a big kick start to your healing process.
Choose kindness over being right. Sometimes, it’s the only way to gain peace and improve you mental health.
What if Forgiveness and Moving On are Hard?
Let’s face it—forgiveness can be hard. I’ve dealt with clients who need to practice forgiveness from years of holding on to hurt and grudges. Starting with ourselves is usually the hardest part.
Undeniably, to practice forgiveness is better said than done. So how do you forgive and move on if it’s hard?
Deep emotional healing can be done with the healing power of an Intuitive Healing Session.
Through intuitive healing, you can heal the unresolved wounds and break the negative ties that connect your own life to the person that has hurt your mental and physical health, and release bottled up emotions that you have buried and forgotten about.
It can be overwhelming to open up that can of worms by yourself sometimes.
With emotional energy healing allows your old emotions to be released gently yet effectively so that you can make peace with yourself, find balance, live with more freedom and awareness, and create a more purposeful life.
For more information about the difference between Emotional Energy Healing and Reiki click here.
Of course, the first step to healing begins within you. But if self forgiveness and moving on are hard, you might need a deeper alternative.
Forgiveness is difficult, but it can heal us in so many ways. If you’re holding on to a grudge, it’s time to heal through healthier relationships.
Do it for yourself. Do it for your inner peace. It will help you so much in the long run.