When was the last time you approached someone and expressed a desire to be helped? Were you able to do so confidently? Or did you find yourself hesitating? Did you negotiate a million times in your head with a long pro’s and con’s list before actually asking for help? Was it hard to get those words out of your mouth?
One of the most beautiful laws of the Universe is that – individually – we can’t do it all. Coming to this Universe is like holding a gift box filled with both strengths and weaknesses. As we journey through life, we realize that other people have gifts to help fill up the gaps in what we can’t do. Have you heard, “It takes a village to raise a child?” Or “It takes a village to ____?” Because sometimes, it does indeed!
We all need help – asking for help is not synonymous with being a burden. But how do you tell yourself it’s okay to ask for help?
Reasons Why It’s Hard To Ask For Help
You don’t want to feel like a burden.
One of the most ironic things I’ve learned is people who have been taking significant feats of sacrifice for other people are actually those who are hesitant when asking for help.
I’d like to call it the “Giver’s Syndrome.”
Type A personalities, breadwinners, caretakers, and dedicated leaders give more than they take. If you’re in one of these groups, you probably are always ready to listen to problems, solve concerns, and stay when the going gets tough. There’s a keenness of wanting to “fix” things so that someone can feel better ASAP.
In the clearest sense, the givers know the feeling of burden intimately. And you know how it feels to lift that extra weight off another person’s shoulders because you’re so good at helping others eliminate their problems. Hence, the last thing you would want is to be the reason to add load on someone else’s shoulder, or worse, add burden to someone you’ve helped out before.
I can confidently say, 90% of the clients I work with have “Giver’s Syndrome,” including myself, which I’m still working on, so for those who relate to this, I feel you!
You have been solving problems on your own, all your life.
You’re used to solving hard stuff without any assistance since your early years. You’re tough because your circumstances molded you to be. Perhaps you’ve also asked for help, but in the end, you handle things on your own.
And so the cycle of not asking for help no matter how hard is all you know. Since this has worked for you all your life, you feel like calling out for help is a sign of weakness, even if your troubles are overwhelming you. You keep it in, believing that – per usual – you can solve/get through the bumps of life without asking for help.
You don’t want people to worry or think you can’t do it.
You find joy in independence. It empowers you, and you think it’s a great feeling. Asking for assistance can feel like you’re exposing your vulnerability. You feel like asking for help also means you’re showing your weakness.
6 Reasons Why It’s Okay To Ask for Help
1/6 The burden feels lighter when shared.
So why is it okay to ask for help? Because carrying a problem on your own can feel really, really heavy. The more we bear it on our own, the more we get this sinking feeling of hopelessness and overwhelm. But the moment we reach out to people who actually have “gifts” that can help us, the burden can feel lighter, and our hearts can feel more free and empowered. And you may even find yourself feeling closer to that person who’s lent you a hand.
2/6 There are people actually willing to help if you let them.
It’s not yet time to give up on the goodness of other people. There are a lot of people willing to lend a hand — as long as we ask. Some of them might feel hesitant, especially if you’ve always been the strong, independent one. But reach out, express your specific need, be polite, and respect boundaries — help can come in a stress-free way.
3/6 It’s good karma working for you — and you should not hesitate to welcome help.
I believe in good karma, and I know they come in abundance to those who so freely give help. You might have noticed people coming in your way and offering support out of nowhere. Or maybe some big event came that took a significant chunk off your struggles.
When someone extends help, think of it as good karma — a return for the help and goodness you extend. The universe is fair, and it gives us the support that we need. Don’t hesitate to welcome this universe-sent help with gratitude and open arms.
4/6 You can do more when you ask for help.
We can’t do it all — and it’s okay. In this life, we’re meant to help each other. If we expect that we will do everything to solve our dilemmas, we’re setting ourselves to sadness, exhaustion, and possible trauma.
Ask for help, and you can quickly resolve concerns to focus on other essential things. If problems are taking your time away from the important things, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Doing so can enable you to enjoy the more meaningful things in life.
5/6 You create a balance that won’t lead to burnout.
Although getting through tough times can be done on our own, it makes us prone to burnout.
Won’t it feel good to rely on a listening ear, to have someone you can trust to share the load, to have someone you can fall back on?
Creating a good balance between doing things on our own and knowing when to ask for help can save us from experiencing a mental, physical, and emotional burnout that can be detrimental in the long run.
6/6 Asking for help is an expression of strength.
Asking for help does not mean you’re weak — it’s actually an expression of strength. The strength to acknowledge your breaking point, the strength to recognize there are people who have natural talents that can help you, the strength to be vulnerable so you won’t be devoured by exhaustion in mind, body, and spirit.
Asking someone to help us also shows our love and respect for ourselves. Accepting that we will do better if someone can assist and lend us a hand is a big move — and one that pays off by freeing us from the chains of burnout and hopelessness.
Help is just around the corner. It can come from family, friends, and even from strangers. But the help from outside needs our permission, too. Give yourself the permission to be the recipient of help. Give your heart, mind, and spirit a moment to breathe. Trust that the Universe will send you the help you need when you genuinely need it and accept it in however form it comes. Remember, help doesn’t necessarily come in the way that we expect it to either. If an escape from our burdens means accepting an outstretched hand, know that to accept help is to accept love. And we all deserve love!
If you still feel like it’s too hard for you to give yourself permission to ask for help when needed, perhaps there’s a deeper reason behind it, an emotional memory that you’ve forgotten or subconsciously blocked out. In this case, Intuitive Energy Healing could help you release that emotional blockage to help you become less resistant and more open to help, potentially making you a better team leader at work or a delegator at home too!